Since young, i have always wanted a fairytale marriage...a romantic relationship. My mom used to tell me how smart...how pretty i am...that i deserve only the best guy.
My first relationship during F6, he gave me his time...send me handmade cards and secret message....but he left me
Second relationship before Uni, he brought me romantic restaurants, listen to jazz, meet different people, handmade cards, play and sing for me....he is too good to be true. He is a busy man...always occupied.i need to be absolutely independent most of the time. I need to keep up with the latest news, technology and knowledge...just to sail 2 steps behind him. I was tired of keeping up....i walked away.
Third relationship during my post grad, he is a friend for 8 years. I was touched by his perseverance, determination and well tempered. He knows i like to try new things, he will try his best to fill my weekends with activitives, bring me surprises, cook together ( i love cooking, but i enjoy watching him eat), be as romantic as he can be, travelling together, buy me gifts. However, i couldn't stand his love for football and i make a fuss over his past. I dont want to be the one who stays at home, while he enjoys the game. I dont deserve him....... i walked away
Fourth relationship, right from the start i knew it is wrong. Everyone around me , warned me not to get involved. His sweeten words and moves, makes me fall deeper into him. Families and friends are disappointed at me decision. I stayed firm and stuborn. I changed from demanding to expecting nothing. I changed from bad tempered to basically no temper. Slowly, i realize that i do not have much to talk, no freedom, no time...i live for him. Guess i have become a boring person, to work during weekdays and clean the house during weekends.....he left me
If you were to ask me what my current situation is..... i'll say ...he is imperfectly perfect. He doesnt made cards for me, he has no time, definitely not a romantic guy, he hates going out, we dont post couple photos in facebook....at times, I'll laugh to myself , " Am I really in a relationship?". This is so different. Most of the time i think i heard tiny voices saying ,"He is different , that makes this relationship a treasured and lasting one." I recognizes the voice of the Holy Spirit.
*AMEN*
No comments:
Post a Comment