Sunday, December 7, 2014

Love but not being together

Love is a tricky thing. It varies in intensity and in the specificity of emotions. it is sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world and, at other times, it's the most horrid thing we've ever come face-to-face with.

It's odd how one thing could be the cause of so many contrary feelings. But that's what makes love so beautiful - it's the closest thing to perfection that exists in the world, the only thing that can easily and comfortably encompass both good and evil, beautiful and ugly.

There is another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It's the love one feels when one loves someone he or she can never and will never have.

Some people cannot and will not ever end up together, even if they do love each other. It's a sad truth, but a truth, nonetheless

Some people don't work out together. they have habits or beliefs that make it impossible to co-habituate with the person they love. there isn't a couple out there that loves every little thing about one another.

There may find certain quirks cute , but they don't love them. They simply accept them. There are some people who have such habits, tendencies, or thinking patterns that really do make them incompatible with the other person.

The two may love each other fully, because remember, love isn't rational, yet not be able to live and deal with each other forever. This is why relationships require compromise

You are not going to love everything about the person you are with, but you love enough about him or her to live with things you don't love. not all people are willing to, or even able to, compromise. Sometimes it just doesn't work, regardless of what our emotions tell us.

Compromising is a choice. You either choose to make it work or you choose not to. As long as something doesn't go against nature, over time you can make it work. but there are still some cases when compromising isn't enough.

Sometimes there are other reasons two people cannot and will not ever be together. In fact, this is usually the deciding factor of whether or not to lovers will be capable of spending their lives together

Love is as intense an emotion as one gets, it occasionally leads us to poor choices. Choices that are hurtful to the ones we love.

They may be poor calls of judgement , lies we told or things we said. When it comes to love, our past haunt us. we move from relationship to relationship, hauling all that luggage we managed to accumulate in our previous relationship. Each time they take a break from each other, they come back and try to start fresh. but the problem is, they're still carrying all that luggage. And sooner or later they start to unpack. All the demons come out.

When love scars, it cuts deep. the pain isn't easily forgotten and usually cannot be willfully forgotten. when you hurt the man you love enough, he won't come back to you. And because you still love him, you wouldn't take him back even if he asked you to.

You wait in hopes that new love can take the place of the old -which it can. but that doesn't mean you will ever stop loving each other. some people will love each other until the day they die, spending the majority of their lives apart. and so is the darker side of love.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

4 Signs to lookout For in a relationship

Complaints are fine because they can be constructive, but criticism attacks a person and not their behaviour. Just because she has her constrains on not going to a trip with him, he said she is taking it for granted.

In forms of name calling, eye rolling, sneering , mockery and hostile humour is poisonous to a relationship because it conveys disgust.

Defensiveness is saying, " The problem isn't me, its you." It's the most effective way of blaming your partner and it almost always escalates the conflict

When you tune out a person, you don't just remove the conflict, you remove them emotionally from the relationship. And since you obviously cant have a relationship alone, it's safe to say you won't be in a relationship for long if you keep stonewalling him

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Let Love Make You A Better Person

Let love make you believe. Despite the suffering and brokenness , know that there are people who still hold on to hope. the goodness may not always be seen in the surface, but it will always find a way to emerge and overcome pain. it's hard to find the good when you're stuck between different battles, but when you are beaming with love for yourself, for your significant other, for your family and friends, it helps you to look at the world in a different light.

Let love be the most influential force in your life to make you and those around you, better. the kind that makes you share what you possess because you don't want to see the people around you be deprived of what they deserve. have a heart big enough that it influences other people to touch lives as well. it's too often that the little things in life are ignored when it should be the most appreciated.

Let love make you soft like how you should be, but hard when you need to be. the one that pushes you to forgive the people who have hurt you, but does not fool you to give chances to those who are not worthy Mistakes are inevitable but do it too many times and it becomes a choice. It's important to know who to keep and who to set free, because at the end of the day, it's you who will feel the joy or the pang of sadness.

Let love fill you with excitement that makes your heart beat faster than normal. it's good for the soul to have something to look forward to. Making plans, enjoying the moment and reminiscing what happened during the day or night - these are three of the best things done with people you love dearly. time is not meant to be wasted and places to be unexplored.

Let love leave no room for lies and doubts. it should be the kind of relationship that makes you look at the person highly and respect him for respecting you. the worst thing you can do to a person is to break their trust, and leave them with an aching heart and a mind spinning out of control. It's important to have a strong sense of self-worth, but any relationship - whether platonic, romantic , or familial - has the power to destroy it through lies and doubts.

Let love heighten your emotions. whether you like it not, some things become a big deal even if it shouldn't be. But just as much as you are aggravated with petty misunderstandings, the small gestures have the ability to make you ridiculously smile and turn your day better. both negative feelings and positive feelings deeply affect you when the person matters to you.

and lastly, let love remain fierce. never forget to keep maintaining and strengthening what you have because when you're holding a great thing. It's your responsibility to treasure it unless you want to regret for years A love, whether platonic, romantic or familial, should be real, passionate and long-lasting and never mixed with a tinge of mediocrity.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Doesn't make sense

Something strange is happening to me...

I keep eating up a word when posting on facebook or composing an email.

I either missed out a word....or added another word in .....or mispelled the word.

Upon noticing my carelessness, i constantly check on everything i wrote....but still, i'll overlook the mistake. Can somebody please help me? Am i having some serious problem?

It is such a shameful event where it gives the impression of poor education. I hope silly bunny wouldnt mind reading something that doesnt make sense.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Simple but contented

Since young, i have always wanted a fairytale marriage...a romantic relationship. My mom used to tell me how pretty i am...that i deserve only the best guy.

My first relationship during F6, he gave me his time...send me handmade cards and secret message....but he left me

Second relationship before Uni, he brought me romantic restaurants, listen to jazz, meet different people, handmade cards, play and sing for me....he is too good to be true. He is a busy man...always occupied.i need to be absolutely independent most of the time. I need to keep up with the latest news, technology and knowledge...just to sail 2 steps behind him. I was tired of keeping up....i walked away.

Third relationship during my post grad, he is a friend for 8 years. I was touched by his perseverance, determination and well tempered. He knows i like to try new things, he will try his best to fill my weekends with activitives, bring me surprises, cook together ( i love cooking, but i enjoy watching him eat), be as romantic as he can be, travelling together, buy me gifts. However, i couldn't stand his love for football and i make a fuss over his past. I dont want to be the one who stays at home, while he enjoys the game. I dont deserve him....... i walked away

Fourth relationship, right from the start i knew it is wrong. Everyone around me , warned me not to get involved. His sweeten words and moves, makes me fall deeper into him. Families and friends are disappointed at me decision. I stayed firm and stuborn. I changed from demanding to expecting nothing. I changed from bad tempered to basically no temper. Slowly, i realize that i do not have much to talk, no freedom, no time...i live for him. Guess i have become a boring person, to work during weekdays and clean the house during weekends.....he left me

If you were to ask me what my current situation is..... i'll say ...he is imperfectly perfect.  He doesnt made cards for me, he has no time, definitely not a romantic guy, he hates going out, we dont post couple photos in times, I'll laugh to myself , " Am I really in a relationship?". This is so different. Most of the time i think i heard tiny voices saying ,"He is different , that makes this relationship a treasured and lasting one." I recognizes the voice of the Holy Spirit.


Saturday, July 5, 2014

First Away - Day 1

The bf is in Australia!!

Never thought that I would miss him this much. Coz we are always apart ... so, I thought it would be the same ...until... I started worrying and thinking of him when he was on way to the airport.

Worried that his right foot is giving him problem ( he sprained his right foot)
Worried that as forgetful as he usually is.... he forgot to pack the necessaries
Worried that he is too tired (he was on call the previous day)
Worried that he will fall sick (as I saw his lips chapping )

Then I realized, this is not the first time he is going overseas...moreover his parents are there to take care of him.... Why am I worried? *slap*

After he arrived at KLIA2, I thought I could see him (facetime or video chat) before he leaves, but the BF said his batt is left with 35%.  Hmmmm.... meaning there is no way I am seeing him. Great!!

The sweet thing is he constantly message me to keep me updated. xoxo

Today... honestly, I keep checking on my phone seeing if he messages me. if you caught me smiling while looking at my phone... you know who that is.

We facetime just now, thinking that he might show me the place or the food or .... anything.
it is the same face I see when he is in Ipoh. The before-I-Fall-Asleep face.
The lights off, blanket on, sleepy face, talked for 5-10 min , he'll say..."sleepy...goodnight' kinda conversation. This is my BF

Best part, he said the parents went out but he stays home because he is too tired and sleepy.  WERT????  My beloved prefers staying in bed than going out during vacation??...KILL ME!!

Mom, the stalker?

Mom has been bugging me on the photographs taken last Saturday night. I was a little reluctant to show her at first... cruel you may think BUT... she has been stalking me. Mom is always a bad stalker!!

Firstly, she insisted to fetch me to the wedding dinner, then from the wedding dinner to the photoshoot place. I didn't give it a second thought as who will reject being chauffeured around, right?

Mom supposed to dropped me off at the scene, then join her friends for gathering. But, as the make up artist was doing the make up for me, I can see her car turning a few rounds at the junction. I thought she missed the turning or still thinking of the shortest way to get to her gathering. But no.....

She parked her car at the opposite side of the road then walked towards us. I can sense her 101 aura. She introduced herself to the photographer....

Mom: Hie! so you guys are the photographer? How do u know Joie?
Photographer: We met on the cruise.
Mom: oh ya!! so what are you going to do with her photographs? do you have a shop? are you hanging it up somewhere?
Photographer: Oh, aunty... it is actually meant for our profile.
Mom: Meaning you are uploading it up to some websites?

I gave mom the deadly stare 1. She kept quiet and walked towards the dress. She lifted it up and start her 101.....

Mom: Is she going to wear this? Don't you think the colour is a little dark for her?
Kind soul: No , aunty. we think it is just nice for her. It suits her shape.

Then, she observed the make up artist for awhile

mom: Do you think this is too fierce for her? Oh wow!! I don't think she still need the eyebrow pencil...hahaha...her eyebrow is so thick. You really don't have to use that
MUA : (a little pissed off).. Aunty, it may looks funny here but it will appear nice in photographs. Don't worry. We know what is best.

After the make up artist is done with make up, we both walked to the nearest toilet to put on the dress. Half way struggling into the dress.. mom appeared

Mom: eh hey!! you guys are here!!
we : ????????

Mom: oh I think the earring is a little too big for her. What do you think?
 *Deadly stare 2*

Then she decided to leave us alone... and she went off to her gathering

Monday, June 23, 2014

Food of Thought 1

A: is he caring?
B:  Caring? How?
A: Spend time with you, do what is best for you, plan ahead for both of you?
B: yeah..i think so (confused)
A: okay...tell me what happen on your birthday? what did he do when you are sick?
B: *smile*

If having him in your life doesn't change a thing. You still do the things you used to do. You still handle problems the way you did.

Why do you need that extra person in your life?

Thursday, May 29, 2014

It is always worth the wait

After years of being in a relationship, I finally come to realized the best of the relationship. is not the kiss,

Not, the cuddle

Not...going to posh restaurants

It is the space

We do not need to see each other (physically) everyday, for I believe communication is more important than physically connection.

We both have the 'alone' time, that makes us value our time being together

It gives us more time to think of each other

It is a great challenges of trust and faith. if you survive this challenge during courtship, I bet you will survive the life long marriage blissfully

we look forward to each day knowing that we are going to see each other soon. And when we see each other, we are going to fall in love over and over again.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

My last dinner after the long holiday

As where i am sitting right now, you will never have imagined that i am doing this. With the level of my patience...No, i am not going to do this. But hey!! 


I am in the hospital, when im supposed to be sitting in a restaurant.

Good job, Joie!! God bless you!! 

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Big Tree Yong Tou Foo - "dai shu kiok"

Ipoh friends has been talking about this famous stall in Ipoh. This trip, I will not miss out on this. They also have this new branch in Klang, but the price there is way more expensive. Must be the rental. Everything in Setia Alam is expensive. I have a colleague who went to this new branch for lunch. According to him, he took 3 pieces of fried stuff and noodle. That meal cost him RM7.

This is the portion that we took. About 6-7 piece + noodle.  Each piece cost RM0.80.  Do not think I wallop everything on the table. The food is meant for 2 person. My review on the food?

The laksa noodle is nice, but the soup is not as good as the laksa in Penang ( of course..nothing compares to Penang Laksa wert). Fried stuffs....not bad...well, to me , all fried stuffs are the same. But they do have generous filling...adequate, should be the right word. They said if you have not tried this, you have not been to Ipoh!! 

I would recommend this the next time you are here.....

Red bean blended. Good for two. Cost RM4.50, good for hot weather like this. Ipoh has been raining almost everyday, especially in the evening. I have been drying my clothes for 2 days...*eyes rolled*

I also noticed this - Fried Durian  *woots*

I am sorry, I ate half of it already. The taste...not so strong. I still prefer the durian puffs in Melaka. Each piece cost RM 2.80.

As we were eating there, I was wondering.... where have all the leng chai and leng lui gone to? I thought Ipoh is best 'Sight Seeing' place? no?

Friday, May 16, 2014

Best Relationship

Best Relationship? It is when you can joke around, have unexpected hugs, random kisses, give each other that killer stare & laugh together

To that Baka out there, you know I am thankful to have you :)

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Star Cruise Libra

I had this awesome trip last weekend with family. we were on board from Sunday noon...sailed to Phukett, then Krabi and back to Penang on Wednesday noon. I ate darn a nobody's business from am to pm. Best part...I am late to sleep but early to rise...not feeling tired at all. Want to know why?  

Coz.. I am on vacation!

Who would want to waste time during vacation? who would prefer staying in the cabin watching cartoon than to walk around enjoying the music and the sea breeze? Right?

Wrong!! I found just one person who did all that. No names ....hmmm

I didn't bring my camera that day, so I have to wait for mom to send me the photos. The part that I enjoyed most during this trip? is the free flow of  FOOD and the Snorkelling Trip in Krabi!!

I didn't do much of island hopping during my 1st trip to Krabi...and this trip...kinda compensates all. Happy. Can't wait for more trips like this.

Monday, March 10, 2014


Would you believe it? it feels like yesterday ..we were sitted in class, copying each other's homework...talking about the cutest guy in that school.... and now, she is HITCHED!

The story of us

We were not the closest buddy in back then. It must be the cruelty of the society that has brought us together. Yes, I said it. I am sure you know of the drama when your best friend left you for more new friends ... or the I-Thought-She-Is-My-Bestie suddenly turned her back against you. We have totally different circle of friends, but we always give priority to one another. We know when one is hurt, the rest will be there to back her up...I don't care if she is right or wrong. You mess with her, I am gonna give you hell out of your life.

We often talk about life... career, friends, love....SE has got the most amazing story of her love life. I couldn't forget Benjamin Franklin, the chef and Mr.Cheator. The wonderful thing about this woman is, she is real. I will never have to doubt the things this two wonderful woman say to me. that is how close we are.

I remember the moment she break the news that she is in a relationship with this guy. First thing that came into my mind.... Are you Sure?? then...

What is his name?
Stays where?
Work as a...?
How do you know him?....

I can be quite a mother at times. I just do not want my friend to be hurt. I have doubt in their relationship initially. That guy with that long hair...quiet...ego looking..plays the same DOTA as me... (ahemm...that is quite ok)...can he take good care of my friend? I doubt

But I see changes in my friend, she is going super low profile on this relationship. Despite the reasons that she gave me, I respect that she is changing for this man. For good, of course. Everything went on smoothly, we had dinner several times ( I know she is trying to change my perception on her man... works)....he seems ok...

One Friday night, SE called. she was almost crying. I was like.. "Freaky Idiotic Guy, I'm gonna bring you hell".  OF course... I didn't say it to her. I listened and then we have decided to spend a night away where she is now. We had our good old girlie time....dressing up, dolling up...the beer, the music... I shared my story with her ( Hey! I am a good story teller....after years of experiences). I made her understand that don't let the petty things ruin a relationship. Seriously, I felt bad for calling him 'Freaky Idiotic Guy' , though.

Months later, she invited me to her ROM! I see how well she fits into their heart little friend has finally found her Mr. Right....and she is no longer my little friend. She is someone else's wife now. You made it!! You nailed that guy!! kidding...

Look how charming that smile is. Alright! Case close. When is MY TURN??!!! Mr. Right, where are you??

Thursday, March 6, 2014

What is dating?

She: let's go pak tor
He : ok. Where do you want to go? Jusco?
She: is that paktor?
He : do you want to paktor?

I gave it a second thoughts after that...

What is dating supposed to be?

Watching movies? By holding hands? Sharing food? Going on vacations?

After a long thought, the answer is... Spending quality time doing nothing.

Well, you just have to define 'Quality time' the right way.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Forgive,forget and move on

If little by little you stop loving me, 
I shall stop loving you
Little by little
If suddenly you forget me
Do not look for me
For i shall already have forgotten you

If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes through my life
And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where i have roots
That on that day, at that hour, i shall lift my arms
And my roots will set off to seek another land