Thursday, June 19, 2008


She thinks about the one-who-got-away. And what she could've done to make him stay. She wonders whether it was the right thing to do---to keep distance, to accept that he isn't right for her. He makes her laugh and treats her with respect, she thinks that they hit it off just great. But society dictates it isn't right, to take what isn't yours. She decides she'd find someone as funny as him, as spontaneous as him, as adorable as him. She heaves a sigh, closes her eyes, and says her mind. Maybe not right to say it out loud.

I wonder if she misses him or thinks about him a lot. I wonder if she thinks of the what-ifs and if she'd been more daring and less considerate. Would things have been different? I admire her, though, for her integrity and her self-control. I wish I could tell her she'd meet someone better. But I simply couldn't. Because I really do not know.

She seems perfectly fine. Everything's going great for her. They think her life is dandy. She flashes her charming hide a thousand of sorrows.

I wonder how she feels. Really. How she feels without pretension, without the walls.
She goes out to breathe new air. She's even seeing someone new. The guy looks great, gets along just fine, he seems to think that she's just perfect. That she has everything figured out. The look in his eyes say it all: he's falling for her.

I wonder if she feels the same way. If she'll ever fall for him. She seems very perceptive. But possibly there's something more than her outer silence. A battle of heart and mind, perhaps? I wonder if she'll ever let go of her pride...and herself.

She's got her plans, her BIG plans. She's on her way to success.

I wonder if that's what she really wants or even more if it's enough.
I often wonder what she's thinking when she finds herself alone. Sittingly quietly sipping hot chocolate. I wonder if beneath her facade, she feels the way we feel, laughs the way we laugh, loves the way we love.
With the look on her face, I wonder what she's thinking. I wonder if she bears my name