Since young, i have always wanted a fairytale marriage...a romantic relationship. My mom used to tell me how smart...how pretty i am...that i deserve only the best guy.
My first relationship during F6, he gave me his time...send me handmade cards and secret message....but he left me
Second relationship before Uni, he brought me romantic restaurants, listen to jazz, meet different people, handmade cards, play and sing for me....he is too good to be true. He is a busy man...always occupied.i need to be absolutely independent most of the time. I need to keep up with the latest news, technology and knowledge...just to sail 2 steps behind him. I was tired of keeping up....i walked away.
Third relationship during my post grad, he is a friend for 8 years. I was touched by his perseverance, determination and well tempered. He knows i like to try new things, he will try his best to fill my weekends with activitives, bring me surprises, cook together ( i love cooking, but i enjoy watching him eat), be as romantic as he can be, travelling together, buy me gifts. However, i couldn't stand his love for football and i make a fuss over his past. I dont want to be the one who stays at home, while he enjoys the game. I dont deserve him....... i walked away
Fourth relationship, right from the start i knew it is wrong. Everyone around me , warned me not to get involved. His sweeten words and moves, makes me fall deeper into him. Families and friends are disappointed at me decision. I stayed firm and stuborn. I changed from demanding to expecting nothing. I changed from bad tempered to basically no temper. Slowly, i realize that i do not have much to talk, no freedom, no time...i live for him. Guess i have become a boring person, to work during weekdays and clean the house during weekends.....he left me
If you were to ask me what my current situation is..... i'll say ...he is imperfectly perfect. He doesnt made cards for me, he has no time, definitely not a romantic guy, he hates going out, we dont post couple photos in facebook....at times, I'll laugh to myself , " Am I really in a relationship?". This is so different. Most of the time i think i heard tiny voices saying ,"He is different , that makes this relationship a treasured and lasting one." I recognizes the voice of the Holy Spirit.
*AMEN*
Friday, July 25, 2014
Saturday, July 5, 2014
First Away - Day 1
The bf is in Australia!!
Never thought that I would miss him this much. Coz we are always apart ... so, I thought it would be the same ...until... I started worrying and thinking of him when he was on way to the airport.
Worried that his right foot is giving him problem ( he sprained his right foot)
Worried that as forgetful as he usually is.... he forgot to pack the necessaries
Worried that he is too tired (he was on call the previous day)
Worried that he will fall sick (as I saw his lips chapping )
...etc...
Then I realized, this is not the first time he is going overseas...moreover his parents are there to take care of him.... Why am I worried? *slap*
After he arrived at KLIA2, I thought I could see him (facetime or video chat) before he leaves, but the BF said his batt is left with 35%. Hmmmm.... meaning there is no way I am seeing him. Great!!
The sweet thing is he constantly message me to keep me updated. xoxo
Today... honestly, I keep checking on my phone seeing if he messages me. if you caught me smiling while looking at my phone... you know who that is.
We facetime just now, thinking that he might show me the place or the food or .... anything.
BUT....
it is the same face I see when he is in Ipoh. The before-I-Fall-Asleep face.
The lights off, blanket on, sleepy face, talked for 5-10 min , he'll say..."sleepy...goodnight' kinda conversation. This is my BF
Best part, he said the parents went out but he stays home because he is too tired and sleepy. WERT???? My beloved prefers staying in bed than going out during vacation??...KILL ME!!
Never thought that I would miss him this much. Coz we are always apart ... so, I thought it would be the same ...until... I started worrying and thinking of him when he was on way to the airport.
Worried that his right foot is giving him problem ( he sprained his right foot)
Worried that as forgetful as he usually is.... he forgot to pack the necessaries
Worried that he is too tired (he was on call the previous day)
Worried that he will fall sick (as I saw his lips chapping )
...etc...
Then I realized, this is not the first time he is going overseas...moreover his parents are there to take care of him.... Why am I worried? *slap*
After he arrived at KLIA2, I thought I could see him (facetime or video chat) before he leaves, but the BF said his batt is left with 35%. Hmmmm.... meaning there is no way I am seeing him. Great!!
The sweet thing is he constantly message me to keep me updated. xoxo
Today... honestly, I keep checking on my phone seeing if he messages me. if you caught me smiling while looking at my phone... you know who that is.
We facetime just now, thinking that he might show me the place or the food or .... anything.
BUT....
it is the same face I see when he is in Ipoh. The before-I-Fall-Asleep face.
The lights off, blanket on, sleepy face, talked for 5-10 min , he'll say..."sleepy...goodnight' kinda conversation. This is my BF
Best part, he said the parents went out but he stays home because he is too tired and sleepy. WERT???? My beloved prefers staying in bed than going out during vacation??...KILL ME!!
Mom, the stalker?
Mom has been bugging me on the photographs taken last Saturday night. I was a little reluctant to show her at first... cruel you may think BUT... she has been stalking me. Mom is always a bad stalker!!
Firstly, she insisted to fetch me to the wedding dinner, then from the wedding dinner to the photoshoot place. I didn't give it a second thought as who will reject being chauffeured around, right?
Mom supposed to dropped me off at the scene, then join her friends for gathering. But, as the make up artist was doing the make up for me, I can see her car turning a few rounds at the junction. I thought she missed the turning or still thinking of the shortest way to get to her gathering. But no.....
She parked her car at the opposite side of the road then walked towards us. I can sense her 101 aura. She introduced herself to the photographer....
Mom: Hie! so you guys are the photographer? How do u know Joie?
Photographer: We met on the cruise.
Mom: oh ya!! so what are you going to do with her photographs? do you have a shop? are you hanging it up somewhere?
Photographer: Oh, aunty... it is actually meant for our profile.
Mom: Meaning you are uploading it up to some websites?
I gave mom the deadly stare 1. She kept quiet and walked towards the dress. She lifted it up and start her 101.....
Mom: Is she going to wear this? Don't you think the colour is a little dark for her?
Kind soul: No , aunty. we think it is just nice for her. It suits her shape.
Then, she observed the make up artist for awhile
mom: Do you think this is too fierce for her? Oh wow!! I don't think she still need the eyebrow pencil...hahaha...her eyebrow is so thick. You really don't have to use that
MUA : (a little pissed off).. Aunty, it may looks funny here but it will appear nice in photographs. Don't worry. We know what is best.
After the make up artist is done with make up, we both walked to the nearest toilet to put on the dress. Half way struggling into the dress.. mom appeared
Mom: eh hey!! you guys are here!!
we : ????????
Mom: oh I think the earring is a little too big for her. What do you think?
*Deadly stare 2*
Then she decided to leave us alone... and she went off to her gathering
Firstly, she insisted to fetch me to the wedding dinner, then from the wedding dinner to the photoshoot place. I didn't give it a second thought as who will reject being chauffeured around, right?
Mom supposed to dropped me off at the scene, then join her friends for gathering. But, as the make up artist was doing the make up for me, I can see her car turning a few rounds at the junction. I thought she missed the turning or still thinking of the shortest way to get to her gathering. But no.....
She parked her car at the opposite side of the road then walked towards us. I can sense her 101 aura. She introduced herself to the photographer....
Mom: Hie! so you guys are the photographer? How do u know Joie?
Photographer: We met on the cruise.
Mom: oh ya!! so what are you going to do with her photographs? do you have a shop? are you hanging it up somewhere?
Photographer: Oh, aunty... it is actually meant for our profile.
Mom: Meaning you are uploading it up to some websites?
I gave mom the deadly stare 1. She kept quiet and walked towards the dress. She lifted it up and start her 101.....
Mom: Is she going to wear this? Don't you think the colour is a little dark for her?
Kind soul: No , aunty. we think it is just nice for her. It suits her shape.
Then, she observed the make up artist for awhile
mom: Do you think this is too fierce for her? Oh wow!! I don't think she still need the eyebrow pencil...hahaha...her eyebrow is so thick. You really don't have to use that
MUA : (a little pissed off).. Aunty, it may looks funny here but it will appear nice in photographs. Don't worry. We know what is best.
After the make up artist is done with make up, we both walked to the nearest toilet to put on the dress. Half way struggling into the dress.. mom appeared
Mom: eh hey!! you guys are here!!
we : ????????
Mom: oh I think the earring is a little too big for her. What do you think?
*Deadly stare 2*
Then she decided to leave us alone... and she went off to her gathering
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